A Skin Picker's Story
*Caution…this article contains a few graphic moments depicting skin picking that may cause sensitivity to some…
I tell myself (in my head…but with my very rational mom voice) …don’t do it Sara…don’t do it!!!! You have 20 minutes and have to be out the door – you know you will create a big mess…and you’ll be late AGAIN…and you promised yourself that you’d be the first one to arrive today and surprise everyone with a glass of wine waiting for them for once…you aren’t this weak…you are strong…DAMMIT SHOW SOME WILLPOWER!!!!
But not to be outdone by my rational side my other voice creeps in…But that bump will drive you crazy and everyone will stare – and if you just follow the right steps…go get a washcloth…soak in hot water…let the steam open up your pores and a little squeeze (even use the special skin tool you bought on Amazon with the pokey side if you have to – it’s for pros how much damage can you do) – in just a few minutes the bump will be gone…and you will feel so much better…you’ll still totally make it there on time...plus you’ll have so much more fun without that ugly bump on your face…
20 minutes and a giant mess with a sprinkle of tissue damage later, I’m texting my friends that I’ll be just a few minutes late…and I’m sure they are thinking…of course she’ll be late…she’s always a “a few” late…yet none of them have any idea why…and I’m far too ashamed to admit it…I’d rather come across as inconsiderate of others time…and for a midwestern girl raised to always be nice and considerate to all…that tells you how full of shame we skin pickers are….but I digress…
So, I assess the damage…grab a cold compress and try to get the bleeding to stop…switch to ice to get the inflammation down…put on my special picking oil to make sure no infection occurs and attempt to cover the damage…
20 minutes later I take a deep breathe…pat myself on the back for my makeup artistry skills…I work on my “why I’m late again” story and off I go (though I have plenty of extra tissue, concealer and powder for the car ride just in case the bleeding or oozing starts up again). And I show up full of hugs, apologies, and smiles…and all is good in the world…
And this is a just a small example of a day-in-the-life of a skin picker…or what educated medical professionals call Body-focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB), a general term for a group of related disorders that includes hair pulling (Trichotillomania Disorder), skin picking (Excoriation Disorder), and nail-biting (Onychophagia Disorder). These are anxiety-disorders thought to be part of the OCD spectrum and affect MILLIONS of women and men. Yet why is it that most people that have it have NO IDEA there is an actual-diagnoses and that they are not alone, but in fact one of millions struggling in silence, full-off-shame and wondering why am I so broken?
As a picker, I’ve had others (including some docs over the years), look at me and say, “Here’s an idea…just stop picking” and with a smug smile and even a laugh.” And in sometimes in my head…sometimes outload I’d reply “Oh, wow thanks so much for the genius advice – you must be part of MENSA – like that never occurred to me…”
What brings another interesting level of dimension (and comedy) to my story, is that my husband (who hadn’t even started medical school when we met 20+ years ago, so no I didn’t marry my psychiatrist) is now a psychiatrist and an expert in anxiety disorders (I’d like to think I provided him with some great inspiration along the way LOL).
In fact, when I first told my husband that I wanted to bottle and sell what is known today as PickFix™ but I was extremely nervous to come out as a skin picker, especially as an owner and formulator of a skin-care company, he was 100% supportive. He said something like I believe there are FAR MORE skin pickers and others with BFRB out there than any of us realize…and not only will your product help them…but by talking about it publicly you can help remove the shame attached and let others know they are not alone…
So, I then talked to my bestie and Carter + Jane Co-founder, Susan Carter. She knew that I picked my skin, but it was only shortly before we launched PickFix™ that I let her see my face without makeup after I had picked…she at first looked a little surprised…then she hugged me and said she just never realized…and then said, “Damn you are such a good makeup artist” and opened a bottle of bubbly and we toasted to always being best friends who love and support each other no matter what…
When I told her about PickFix™ she said “Um, I could totally use this for my nails (she is a cuticle/nail biter). Sure, why not try it…even if no one buys it at least we might get some press opportunities to raise awareness and help a few others”
That was late 2018. So here we are in 2021…over 100,000 bottles sold…and more importantly thousands of conversations with people saying “I thought I was alone” later…and our journey to take away the shame and stigma from all of us suffering with some form of BFRB has only just begun.
If you need, or just want more information, check out the TLC Foundation and Picking Me Foundation for resources and support.
Sending love to all!
xoxo
Sara Jane